Me + IUD = STOT

Okay, first of all, I want to state 2 things.

1: This blog is based solely on my experience and/or opinion.  This is just how this situation affected me, and it may not affect anyone else in the same way.  I am not looking to "talk trash" about any one company or person.  Just relating my adventure out to the world.

2: This blog is about my recent experience over the course of 4 months with an IUD. An IUD is an intrauterine device... used for birth control...In case you still aren't grasping this... I'm going to be writing about a piece of equipment that was installed in my uterus to keep me from getting pregnant.  If you can not handle hearing the details of this, please do not read.

So, on with the show...

There I was, 6 weeks after Johnny was born at my postpartum check up, faced with the question I had been dreading to hear my Dr. ask.  "What would you like to do for birth control?"  Why do I hate this question, you ask?  Well, I'll tell you... because NOTHING works.

- Pills? They have either failed in the past, meaning I got pregnant, or it would send me into a strange depression, or cause me to have other complications. (Constant spotting, weight gain, massive acne (worse than usual), migraines, etc.) No, I didn't just need to try a different brand. I've been on at least 10 different prescriptions for birth control pills. Possibly more.

- Nuva-ring? Ugh, I hated that one. (Remind yourself I warned you about TMI) First few months were okay, then 2 months in a row I had HORRIBLE cramping with Nuva-ring, but light bleeding for the first few hours... then suddenly I would feel dizzy, nauseated - eventually vomiting, and as though my uterus were in a vice when I would suddenly shed what seemed to be my entire uterine lining at once.  Just one huge clot.  Obviously, I refused to continue using that.

- Depo-provera? I was sick/bleeding the entire time the shot was effective.  It was believed I possibly had a miscarriage during the use also.  But keep in mind when I say sick, I mean Dr's sending me in for lab work every week trying to figure out what was wrong with me, losing 20lbs and then gaining 40, swollen spleen and liver, & massive body aches and pain among other things. Not just sick with the sniffles. Sick.

- Rhythm method? Sure... until I realized I was a forgetful clutz and would forget to track dates and temperatures.

- Condoms, film, spermicide, etc... Well, looks like that's my only option now...

- I should also mentioned that none of my children were planned. Two of them there were "talks" of having a baby in the near future, but no active trying.  In fact, it was being prevented every time.  That should give you an idea as to why this whole subject is just not a fun one for me.

I sit there with my Dr and we go over all of these options.  He says it's clear with my reaction to the pills I should not be taking anything with hormones, and should have never tried the other hormone methods as they do the same thing.  Then he says what my ears always were scared but excited to hear... "How about we try a copper IUD?"

For years I've looked into IUDs.  They both terrified me and yet seemed so liberating.  Nothing to remember, complete freedom.  But yet... it's a copper appliance inside your uterus and that just seems so strange.  How is it not painful?  I talked to a few people I knew with them in the past and they always said they loved them... but then there were those reviews I'd read on the internet that referred to them as torture devices... and that risk of a perforated uterus... and though these are completely different than the copper IUDs that turned women's insides into mush a couple decades ago, how do we know just how safe they really are? Oh, the torment of debating this back and forth... but going with this seemed to be my last option other than barrier methods and going back to counting/charting.  I sat and stared... "I want to go with this, but I'm scared!" My Dr laughed, mocked me, and then asked the million dollar question: "Scared of what? The pain of insertion? Would you rather go through the pain of another childbirth?"

Obviously, I agreed, accepted a pamplet on Paragard (the brand name of the IUD) and went on my merry way.  2 weeks later it was inserted.  Oh my good Lord in Heaven... I'm not cursing or saying God's name in vain, I'm literally saying I wouldn't have made it through that without crying if I had not been praying.  After I was dizzy and had to lay down for about 20 minutes on the exam table.  When I got up and dressed to leave, the nurse asked me to please stay and rest a little longer, as I apparently looked very pail.  Since my Mom was driving me I felt safe to go ahead and go.

The what I thought at the time was intense cramping lasted about 2-3 days.  Like a really bad period, but I thought it was worth it.  The bleeding stopped on day 7.  After that, everything seemed to be going great.  Went in for my check up to make sure insertion went well and that there was no infection 4 weeks later.  All was going great, I had no complaints....

That is until the next week, the day after Thanksgiving, when I started my first period.  I was floored.  Couldn't hardly move.  I had been warned that the pain/flow of menstruation could increase, even dramatically, with the IUD, but I didn't realize it would be like this.  After a day, I was feeling better, and decided to push through it and go on out and get my Thanksgiving sale shopping done.  A couple days go by, and my hormones seem to be severely off balance.  I'm usually emotional during this time of the month, but this was insane.  The pain wasn't letting up, and after 6 days it was getting worse.  I finally gave in and went to urgent care where I was given pain meds and told to take it easy.  The Dr there suggested I just have it removed, but I felt that after all that trouble I needed to give it a few months. What a mistake!

That was November.  Between then and early February I was bleeding 2 weeks out of every 4.  My energy levels most of the time were at a complete low.  What little energy I had went to taking care of my 2 young boys.  Some days Bobby had to work from home or use sick days to care for me and the little ones.  I had already made an appointment with my Dr for February to just give up and have it taken out. I was done... but then I ended up worse and in the emergency room with pain at a level of 9-10/10, vomiting, light headed, and other symptoms.  I just wanted the ER Dr to take it out, but he didn't feel comfortable doing so.  I was given shot of  morphine, more pain killers to take home, something to stop the vomiting, and the suggestion to not do much.  You know, because I was out running marathons and climbing mountains all this time.

On the day of my removal, I was nervous and scared.  My Dr asked, "Is it just not working out for you?"  I replied, "I would rather give birth than to deal with this.  Having 4 more kids would be easier than this!" He said "Well, okay then. Sorry about that."  What more could he say, though, right?

Surprisingly, it all went well.  No pain. No bleeding. Just a sudden feeling of relief, as though my body had been trying to rid itself of it the entire time. (Kind of a no brainer that it had been, right?)  My Dr warned me that it may take my cycle a few months to get back to "normal" as far as the pain level/flow is concerned.  Well, here I am, first cycle. Pain is worse than what my periods were before, but NOTHING compared to having satan's tool of torture in my womb. (That was my pet name for my IUD... some might name theirs something cute like Betsy or Penny, this was what I named mine.  STOT for short.)  I am optimistic, though, that in a few months I will be back to normal and not camped out on the couch every month.  I guess all I can do is take it as a learning experience... a learning experience for what, I don't know.  But if I look at it in any other way and sit and think of the months of my life wasted in unnecessary pain I might just start crying, and I feel like I've done enough of that.

Now, having said all that... if you should be happening to consider an IUD, don't take my experience as something that happens to everyone.  From what I understand, most women don't have this reaction... but some do.  Educate yourself and know what to expect.  And the first month if you are in treacherous pain, don't wait thinking it'll get easier... If you can't take it, remove it. Don't waste your time, miss out on Christmas day activities, friends and families events, church, and have everything in your life fall behind. It's just not worth it.  I do hope it works out though, because for those who I have talked to that have had them without problems say they are wonderful... :(  Oh well.

Edited to add: I don't know what the heck is going on with the formatting on this entry.  It irritates me, too, trust me. I didn't do this blindly and not realize I was doing it wrong. I'm giving up on trying to fix it though... Sorry it bugs!

TGIF!!!

Ahhhh, Friday.  And I am in such a good mood...

Fridays are different from any other day of the week.  People are happier, making them usually nicer.  Everyone is excited and anticipating what the weekend might hold for them.  Life seems to be more laid back, whether you work or not.  And for those of us who attend church, we have Sunday to look forward to!

See, I love Fridays.  Sometimes that means Bobby works from home, and other times it means that the boys & I are that much closer to having him home to ourselves for 2 days.  Dinner is usually something simpler, but always delicious... & since I've been dieting Friday is sometimes my "cheat night".  

Today, however, I have 2 more reasons to be in a good mood!  

When I went in to get dressed my pants were just way too big... not loose, BIG! WOO-HOO!!!

I decided to step on the scale and check things out... only to find I've officially lost 15lbs!!!

Now, if I could just get more disciplined with the exercise, so I can continue to lose at the pace I have been...  or more... The only downside to all this weight loss was in the beginning I didn't realize how much red meat I ate on a regular basis and I'm pretty sure I lost some iron, making me slightly fatigued.  I'm feeling better now that I'm taking a supplement, but still struggle with sticking with a routine.  I actually enjoy working out, a whole lot more than I thought I would... I think I'm just getting bored doing the same old thing.  I plan to get a cardio dvd in the next few weeks and hope that will break the feeling that this is tedious I get at times... until then, I've got to buckle down and just keep with it!  

We'll see how that goes... Right now I just want to sit on the couch with my snuggie and play with the boys.  This weather doesn't help with the "get up and go" attitude I need to have.  Gotta get moving though!  Hmm... this is my struggle. I'll let you all know how it goes.

13

A lot of people consider the number 13 to be dangerous or unlucky.

I however, am proud to announce that I have now lost 13 pounds!  My clothes are a little more loose, I have slightly more energy, and my self esteem is increasing each and every day.

I know I still have a long road a head of me to reach all of my goals, but I'm so much more excited about it now than I was a month ago. GO ME!!!

Note To Self...

Dear Angie,

When you are going to post a blog full of songs that creep you out, but yet you love so much... first of all, include them all.  How could you forget this one?



Second, after writing the blog, don't sit and watch stupid suspenseful movies with Bobby.  He already made you watch another cheesy one earlier in the day. Why watch another?

Third, when you are laying in bed quietly thinking to yourself of your "To-Do" list for the next day, do not be startled by how creepy Bobby's random sudden laugh is when he remembers a silly occurrence with your son earlier in the day.  There is no reason Bobby's laugh should scare the crap out of you now, you've been hearing it for years.  Just because you are laying there in solemn and out of nowhere this loud eerie noise and breath tickle your ear, you should still not have the crap scared out of you!

Fourth, why would you be surprised that Bobby would take every chance for the 30 minutes following the occurrence with the laugh and the scream to scare you?  You should know better!  Though you were right to not let him fall asleep before you.

Fifth, make sure you tell Bobby "Happy Valentine's Day".  Give him a big hug and kiss. Also be sure to tell him you love him.  Thank him for letting you sleep in and making the most delicious scrambled eggs you've had.  After all, he knew you were on a low calorie diet and took extra measures to make the entire meal healthy.  He's such a swell guy.  Going to all that trouble and even leaving 14 videos on your facebook wall while you were sleeping.  You are, most certainly, the luckiest girl in the world!

Love,
Angie

P.S. Next time you go to the store, could you please remember to pick up a shower cap? Thanks.

6 lbs Down!

A little over 2 weeks ago I decided to stop whining about being overweight and out of shape, and start being proactive in changing the entire situation.  I started counting calories and exercising.  Might I say it's been much easier than I expected, which is probably why I haven't blogged much about it.  I hit my first "wall" yesterday, feeling as though I hit a plateau, only to wake up this morning to find I had lost another full pound.

My plan is to chart out my feelings of joy and frustration here, but we'll see how that goes...

I do feel as though I deserve to brag about my first 6 lbs, so that's what I'm doing.  Go me! I can't wait to reach my short and long term goals and hopefully keep the weight off!

If Only...

Once upon a time I was a different person.  I rarely doubted anyone.  I took each person for what they said they were.  I forgave most simply because they said they were sorry for some of the most hurtful heartbreaking things that had been done to me. And I dropped everything at a moment's notice to be there for friends who needed me.

Sadly, like most people in this world, I have changed.  I was hurt, deeply, in several different instances where those that I loved and considered dear friends betrayed me in one way or another.  I didn't change overnight, it was after being hurt repeatedly to different degrees by various loved ones over the course of years and allowing the hurt and frustration to build up.  

In trying to move past the pain, I blocked out the memory, sometimes almost "deleting" the person from my memory to the best of my ability and pretending the hurt never happened.  "They're dead to me" I would so easily exclaim if someone asked me when I last talked to the person, proud of my hardened heart and letting the world know that my ego was not bruised but instead stroked.

Obviously, this is ineffective as the hurt is still there, growing, causing me to be doubting, flaky, and distrusting of others.  Besides, as soon as in some way or another whether by running across an old picture of different people, hearing another speak of them, or running into them the pain was quickly remembered as though a bandage was ripped away from the wound, taking the stitches with it and leaving all my anguish exposed.  I talk myself down from the anger.  "That person has no idea.  And look who I am now in spite of all they did to hurt me!  They have suffered such a loss to not know me any longer!  All of the happiness they claim to have now is fake, because they certainly don't deserve it. I dare them to attempt to do the same thing to me now.  They'd have another thing coming!"  Only to realize very quickly "They probably could care less about anything to do with me." 

And here is where it comes full circle...

The reality smacks me right in the face because I KNOW that there are people out there that I've hurt, whether intentional or unintentional, that I could care less about what is going on in their lives or where they are now.

Ouch.  "What kind of person am I?  That's just disgusting!  I wasn't raised to be this way!  Forgive and forget, love one another!"

It seems just in the last few months I've been tossed in with memories of many different past hurts and had to deal with them.  Sometimes so overwhelming, not understanding why, my only option was to cry and have a pity party.  Just a few moments ago I was asking God "Why do I have to go through all this, dealing with all of these people so close together?"  I wasn't even done asking when I realized it's because something needs to change.  I learned at a woman's conference I attended years ago as a teenager that in order to move past the hurt, grow from it, and heal you must forgive those that hurt you.  

Now, I'm going to be honest, as much as I say I forgive everyone for whatever they did to me, there are probably 2 or 3 that I don't want to forgive.  1 of those people I forgave for one of the worst things a person could do to another mother only to be betrayed nearly the same way all over again months later.  I realize that forgiveness doesn't mean I have to be friendly, but just the simple act of letting go of the hurt and sometimes anger seems impossible. Why should that person be forgiven for such a horrible thing?  I guess the answer is simple, because if I don't I'm living in sin and as long as I carry this burden around I'm going to be unhappy.  I don't want to be this person who doesn't take people for their words, doubts every single persons motive for being nice to me, assuming every friend I have secretly hates me.  Why should everyone in my life now pay for the sins of those that were in my life in the past?

If only everyone had a stamp on their foreheads to state whether they were trustworthy, and meter to show just how real or fake they really are...

That's not how it is, though.  This is real life.  Time for me to pick myself back up, again.  Time to dust off my genuine smile, and know that people are being nice to me because they simply like me, not to dig up dirt on a myself, a friend, or family member.  Time to take people for their words, and not second guess every other statement.  

It might take a little time, and that's okay.  I'm damaged, but through forgiveness of others and forgiveness from God, I can be whole again.

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things...

This song is just amazing. I can't hear it without crying. And written by a man who was an awesome minister who was taken to Heaven much too soon. Thank you, Jesus, for giving this man the talent and the song. It's a perfect explanation of what His love has done for me. And yet I wasn't even born when it was written...

Bobby & I once danced to this song in Ralph's (Grocery store) at 1am after a difficult week. I don't remember particularly why it was a hard week, but I do remember the spontaneity of the moment and the romance of the way Bobby took the bag of Dorito's I was picking out of the bin and threw it aside as we began our waltz over to the bottled water aisle. One of the most romantic moments of my entire life.

I love this song. It's just flat out soothing & peaceful. Just the other night I had a tough night. Okay, I admit. It was a bad hair day that took hours to repair. When this song came on my iPod I stopped, took a deep breath, felt the calm take over me, and was able to accomplish my goal. This song I have played on happy days, sad days, stressful days, and days full of rejoicing. :sigh:

I really can't explain this one. It's been my favorite song since I was a wee teenager. I do know that when I realized I didn't want to be alone forever as I had previously claimed during my divorce was while listening to this song. I wanted to feel "Hysteria". Yeah, I know. Super cheesy. Who cares, go read another blog if you don't want cheese, because me? I'm all about cheese. Especially since Bobby came along. Thanks to him, I know "Hysteria".

LOVE this! Who doesn't?

Okay, just kidding. I was serious about the others though!

More to come as I think of them... I'm tapped out for now.

Just Between You & Me

This morning, in the course of random thinking.  (It's a scary, but fun sport.)  I wondered how many people a long the way have I unintentionally hurt.  We've all done it, and everyone at some point has been hurt in this way.  And no, I'm not talking about sarcasm or passive aggressive behavior.  I mean flat out not realizing that your words or actions are hurtful to someone who either took it the wrong way or my brain/mouth filter having a momentary lapse.

Lord, forgive me for anyone I have hurt this way.  And if anyone reading at some point was hurt by something I said or did, I'm sorry.  I would never intentionally do anything to hurt someone, and believe me, if I were angry... you would know.  (Lord, forgive me for that also...)

Today Is The Greatest Day I've Ever Known...

This morning I woke up in a "mood".   I felt sensitive and vulnerable.

I know that some are affected this way by the weather, but I don't believe that was the cause of my outlook.  In fact, I'm feeling down that our rainy days are coming to an end soon.  I love stormy weather, and this week has just been great for me in that sense. I find myself dreading Saturday when it is forecasted to be partly sunny by afternoon.

I started off just annoyed to be awake.  I think we all have a day like that from time to time, right?  I didn't sleep well last night, and the fact that today was already here just really flat out ticked me off.  Then I checked my email and something that I wouldn't normally think twice about made me want to cry.  In general I was feeling down and discouraged, feeling as though doom and gloom were on the horizon. As I went on with my morning, I just kept thinking "I don't want today to be like this!"  I most certainly didn't want to be the cause of anyone else's bad attitude with my negativity, either.

When I was a little girl and a teenager, if I was feeling down, my Grandma would tell me: "Why should you be sad?  We have Jesus!  Read your Bible for a little while and I'm sure you'll feel better."  Grandma was also known for her love of Pollyanna and looking on the bright side.

I figured I'd give it a try this morning. I mean, I read my Bible on a regular basis, but what could it hurt to just stop and read and expect something to cheer me up?

How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings, that publisheth peace; that bringeth good tidings of good, that publisheth salvation; that saith unto Zion, Thy God reigneth!

Isaiah 52:7

Now how does that not make you feel better, huh?  Makes it hard to have a negative outlook, I'll say that much...

Wow...

So, I guess it's been awhile since I've put my thoughts into word form on "the world wide web". A great number of things have taken place, that I don't know where to begin. Not only did I give birth to a beautiful baby boy, but thanks to God I survived one of the busiest most emotional times in my entire life.

I endured many sad and/or stressful moments along with many great ones. I welcomed my 2 oldest children home and then held back the tears as I sent them on their way once again. I met my newborn son, John Benjamin, just 2 1/2 weeks after my cousin Benjamin Paul went home to be with Jesus much too soon. I felt guilt for the fact that I was gaining a son as my Uncle lost his. I fought for weeks with prodromal labor before finally being induced and being lucky enough to win a dural puncture. We moved into a new home while I was recovering from childbirth & breastfeeding. At 35 weeks pregnant I somehow didn't have a nervous breakdown when a wild fire blazed behind our home & my 3 children cried in fear. (Didn't say I wasn't crying too...)

I could go on and on, but my point is that thanks to God I survived. Was it the hardest time of my life? Not even close. But that's what makes it that much more beautiful. God is there when things are good, bad, and also mixed up somewhere in between. He's just that awesome, and I'm so grateful for that.

It's been awhile...

A watched pot never boils....

Nor does a timed uterus contract.

Yes, Crystal, I really did come up with that on my own.

Feel Like Laughing? Crying? Throwing Something? Cleaning Your Entire House Top To Bottom?

I hereby declare this pregnancy hormone awareness day!!! (Go through the videos in order for full effect...)

First, the song Bobby sang to me the night we got married. I know, awww... It just happened to be playing in the limo, and being nervous he sang along. This song always just makes me smile.




Now, to make you sad: You have to watch them in the exact order... Better yet, look them up for better quality versions...







Stop what you're doing! Put down the knife! Do NOT slit your wrists! "But why?!" You ask? "WHY did we have to go from happy to sad in 1.2 seconds flat?" I'll tell you why... Because that's what it's like! Not fun, is it?

Now, cheer up and watch this:



Fun! YAY! Happy! Weird, creepy, silly, but HAPPY!

Everyone getting on your nerves?





Angry and ticked, huh? But at least you feel vindicated... Don't be mad at me! I could have used a lot of worse songs just to make you feel anger! Trust me!

OK, Ignore the weird graphics...



Naturally, you worry just what that baby will look like...



Then you remember, everything will be fine...



Besides, if you're having one of Bobby's kids at least, it's inevitable...





That was just strange, and you can't explain it. You don't feel bad, but not quite like yourself either...

But who cares, you're STARVING!!!!



Now you're feeling sleepy...



What just happened? Why is it every time you fall asleep you wake up more confused? Stupid pregnancy dreams...




WAKE UP! You're nesting! Time to CLEAN!



Your husband thinks you are most certainly and definitely CRAZY!



Would not be complete without this...



Who doesn't feel happy and complete after hearing "Hysteria"? Oh yeah, that's just me... anyways...

And now, for at least a few moments...



But, here you are, and it is well...



And now, you have officially experienced a full mood swing. Congratulations! Were you truly pregnant, you would feel this way CONSTANTLY... never ending... it's such a beautiful process, isn't it? That's why to your husband you dedicate this:

I'm A Blubbering Idiot: At The Very Most, To Say The Very Least...

Adventures in incubating...

Yesterday Tommy & I ran to the store, and on the way home I decided to listen to the radio. Well, first song to make me cry, naturally, was Darius Rucker's "It Won't Be Like This For Long". I have 3 children, and often long for those days I just couldn't wait to pass... like the first night home with each of them. There I was, bawling on the freeway, while Tommy "sang" along in his car seat behind me.



Well, here's where it gets even stupider... more stupid... whatever! (You don't even know how to SPELL! (What I apparently yelled at my sweet husband in my sleep last night...))

When Bobby and I had been married about 6 months or so, his first father's day as Jeff & Becca's step dad, he made a list of songs he wanted me to hear that either he just liked in general or reminded him of me while I made him a father's day dinner. One was a Brad Paisley song. Since then when I have heard it, I kind of think "awww". Well, yesterday a DIFFERENT Brad Paisley song played on the radio... and there I was, deliriously confused and sobbing at how lucky I am to have him and how far we've come in the last 2 years and 4 months... It wasn't until HOURS later that I realized IT WASN'T EVEN THE RIGHT SONG! Boy, did I feel stupid. I cried for NOTHING! He laughed at this when I told him, I was mad. Gotta love hormones....

So, tell me, which Brad Paisley song do you think was the right one, and which one the wrong?

You're So Vain, You Probably Think This Blog Is About YOU!

Thank you to Kathy for the idea of the title of this blog some time ago...

So, I must admit in public now that I am slightly obsessed with make up, even though I don't wear it every day. Yes, I still keep it all in a caboodle (purple marble with a hot pink handle) and it contains mostly eye shadows & eye liners. I wouldn't say I'm vain though... If anything I have a low self esteem that I battle with every single day. I just wanted to use that blog title idea, lol.

Speaking of vanity, why is it such human nature to assume that when you read something that refers to the "general you", one must assume it is personally directed at them. Vice versa, why do some people say that something is not directed at anyone but the general public, but it is actually directed at one single group or person?

Why, as humans, and I do mean the general public here... I AM NOT TARGETING ANYONE! (Ahem, don't be vain...) do we feel the need to be so mean and/or cruel to others just because they hurt our feelings or we disagree? Everyone has been guilty of it at some point in time. Most know when to stop and not drag things on. Naturally, everyone has a right to vent or be upset... But, by golly, I've known some people who carry things on and out for so much longer than necessary. Why?! Do you not feel that you are valuable enough as a person to deserve being happy? Such bitterness only drags one down. You aren't hurting anyone but yourself as I'm sure the others don't think much of it, and you're certainly just depressing yourself.

Another vanity topic...

What is with the obsession with weight during pregnancy and postpartum? I swear it is so much more now than it was when I had Jeff and Becca. Then again, maybe it's because I was in another part of the country and not in Southern California. I've been blessed to only gain 4lbs so far with this pregnancy (I started out a little heavy as I was still working on losing weight from my pregnancy with Tommy... and it was the holidays... and Bobby and I had put on some "marital bliss" weight right before I got pregnant with Tommy...) but I've heard of women DIETING or obsessing over calories during pregnancy! Heaven forbid you not be skin and bones after you deliver! Surely, you MUST wear your jeans 3 months after delivery! What will you do if you don't ever fit into a size small again? What will everyone think if you have a slight pudge on your tummy or thighs 6 months after your baby is born? And to still have that weight 2 years later? WHAT A TRAGEDY?! Why don't people think of the tragedy that is a sick newborn? No one wants to think about the pain and suffering a premature infant goes through... What about brain or physical development being damaged due to your "ego"? Grrr... some people should never be allowed to be parents.

I could go on and on with this... but I think I've already let my hormones say enough. I'm going to shut up... NOW!

I'm sorry, but I do have self respect.

Bobby sent this to me today. Say a prayer for him, so that when I smack him on the back of the head as he returns home I will not do too much damage.



Needless to say, I will NOT be trying out "The Prego Shuffle". Thank you very much!

A Blog From Crystal...

Lettuce in the Ketis is the only thing to have. You might think it tastes good if you eat it on tacos. Now if you it eat it by itself, it doesn't have the same effect.

Some people think that giving birth probably isn't that difficult... unless, of course, you're giving birth to a head of lettuce. Without the epidural, the ice burg is the worst. I have heard the best way to soothe lettuce from the Ketis is the rejuvenation (rejuvenation station, that is...) of the hemorrhoidal defactoral fecal position. If this doesn't work you may want to try a phosphorous ioxide to help reduce the stinging sensation. After all of this is accomplished, you can now burn your candles, eat your cookies, and wash it all down with that famous lettuce.

Thank you for your time and energy.

Best Regards,

Lettuce From The Ketis

(Aka: Crystal)

P.S. YAY! My first blog (though not on my own blog) as a NEW WOMAN!

STUPID MIXER!!!

I didn't want you anyways! :(

:sob:

At least not in "Licorice". I'd prefer "Empire Red".

(I'm ranting about this. I was picked. It was like a dream come true! I woke up way too early, sat and waited... I hit the button right as soon as it was available... I was so confident! Apparently I wasn't quick enough... I've been wanting this mixer for YEARS! :sigh:)

Someday... someday we'll be together like we were always meant to be. We'll bake breads, grate cheese, make gingerbread, ice cream, and so many other wonderful things.

You're my mixer, my KitchenAid Pro 600 Mixer. I'll wait for you, yes, I'll wait for you...

At Least It Wasn't Chicken Poop!

OK, so first of all... we have to go back about 7 1/2 years to the beginning of this story in order for it all to make sense...

At the time a lot of those that attend our current church were attending the Fontana PCofG. I was living in Washington State at the time and was down visiting with my then husband and baby Jeff over Summer break from school. Naturally, having a new camcorder I felt the need to record everything about my trip. If you know Crystal, then you know that she was naturally on quite a bit of the footage. Her and I felt the need to record EVERYTHING! Of course this also meant recording her after she fell walking to the car after morning service... into MUD. She did so gracefully, but then had mud all over her, and her reaction was hilarious while everyone just laughed... especially me. Kathy yelled out a valid point to Crystal, "At least it wasn't chicken poop!". I don't know why, but later that night when we watch the video from that day it cracked us up. This may not be too shocking, but I wet my pants. The combination of Crystal's face and Kathy's phrase was just hilarious. The term quickly became a daily part of conversation.

A few years later, a company released a lip balm. The name? "Chicken Poop". Kathy bought Crystal and I both a tube. Various pictures, emails, endearments have been traded between the 3 of us over these last few years. It's our "thing".

So, now to the present day. A few weeks ago at our mini ladies retreat at church Kathy, my Mom, and I were admiring these little chickens that were up for bidding in a silent auction to buy gifts for orphans. Kathy kept trying to tell me that I should want them because she wanted to buy them for someone. My Mom pointed out they would look cute in my kitchen... Kathy said I needed chickens since I blog about cooking them so much... and within a few minutes I decided "They must be mine!" and put down a bid. The next morning I was sick and unable to attend service. This last Sunday, Tommy was teething so badly that he barely slept (and barely let Bobby and I sleep) for the last 5 days. I had no idea where I stood in the bidding and figured I lost. I wasn't too bummed, but I was kind of sad and hoped to find some others later. Sunday night, my Mom calls on her way home from church to let me know KATHY BOUGHT ME THE CHICKENS! I was so excited. Bobby thought I was nuts.

Tuesday my Mom brought the chickens over and I placed them on the counter. I sent Kathy a picture text of them and she called to let me know "I was glad when they said unto me, let us put the chickens up on the counter". It was great. I was so happy and felt so privileged that Kathy did something so nice for me...

I cannot believe that with all of us involved (Crystal knew of the chicken bidding) NO ONE thought of "At least it wasn't chicken poop".

So, now, let me just say once again... Thank you Kathy for my chickens! At least they don't make chicken poop!

Here I Go...

Well, today has arrived. My big shopping day! It even involves a mall or two, yikes. Did I mention I'll have an almost 7 month old in tow? It's gonna be so much fun! I can't WAIT! I actually mean that, not at all sarcastically. Sure, having Tommy with me will make it a challenge... but any day involving Sephora gets my blood running and my body energized. WOO HOO!

2 more days and we'll be gone. I'm so excited!

Tommy kept us up most of the night. His allergies had him congested and he's still trying to adjust to the new home. OF COURSE he's fine this morning. You'd NEVER know that kid had booger issues last night. Oh well.