Better Than Expected...

11 years ago today was by far one of the worst days of my entire life.  What took place the night before and the result that was caused was so devastating I'm not sure I can bring myself to really type about it.  I've only spoke about it with a few chosen people, it's just so personal.  Am I holding on to anger and bitterness in this situation? No. I've let go of that and moved on as far as this goes.  It's just that the memories break my heart sometimes.

If on that day, you had told me I would be here happily married to a good man with 4 children, I would have doubted it to ever happen. I felt as though all my dreams were crushed.  I wasn't even sure I deserved to be happy as I must have done something to deserve all the horrible things that were taking place. (I later woke up and realized I did nothing, whatsoever, that would justify what had happened to me.)  I questioned God as to why he was allowing this all to happen, to strip my motherhood from me before I had even held a child in my arms.  To have the person who was supposed to care for me more than anyone betray me and cause such pain.  It's all so clear now, though.  I will never forget my Grandma telling me "Just give it time, you're going to look back at this, and while it's still going to hurt, you are going to be so happy it happened now instead of later. It will all make sense then."  Thank you, Jesus, because she was so right.  (She almost always was, after all.)

Some things I've learned, whether directly through this circumstance or during reflection in the time since, are:

• That there is truth to the statement God will never give us more than we can handle.  
• While trials I've been through over the years have been pretty tough, there is always going to be someone who is worse off.
• Even when I feel all alone, as though no one even hears my prayers, Jesus is there.  Just waiting for the right time. 
• Abuse, miscarriages, deceit, betrayal, & infidelity are all horrible hurtful things, but putting faith in God can almost make you forget the pain of it all.
• There is nothing like finding your true love, and NO ONE should settle for less than the best.  If you can see yourself living happily without them in the future, then it's probably not meant to be.  As my Aunt told me, "If in 10 years you don't see them, don't waste your time now."

Will I ever forget February 23rd, 1999?  Never.  Have I grown from what happened?  Yes.  Life has been so much easier since I was able to stop, look back, and see the big picture... and while it was tough at the time, it's only a memory now.  Besides, it just makes Heaven that much sweeter... And now here I am, with a great marriage, amazing husband, and the best kids anyone could ask for.  All is much better than expected... as a matter of fact, it's a dream come true.

TGIF!!!

Ahhhh, Friday.  And I am in such a good mood...

Fridays are different from any other day of the week.  People are happier, making them usually nicer.  Everyone is excited and anticipating what the weekend might hold for them.  Life seems to be more laid back, whether you work or not.  And for those of us who attend church, we have Sunday to look forward to!

See, I love Fridays.  Sometimes that means Bobby works from home, and other times it means that the boys & I are that much closer to having him home to ourselves for 2 days.  Dinner is usually something simpler, but always delicious... & since I've been dieting Friday is sometimes my "cheat night".  

Today, however, I have 2 more reasons to be in a good mood!  

When I went in to get dressed my pants were just way too big... not loose, BIG! WOO-HOO!!!

I decided to step on the scale and check things out... only to find I've officially lost 15lbs!!!

Now, if I could just get more disciplined with the exercise, so I can continue to lose at the pace I have been...  or more... The only downside to all this weight loss was in the beginning I didn't realize how much red meat I ate on a regular basis and I'm pretty sure I lost some iron, making me slightly fatigued.  I'm feeling better now that I'm taking a supplement, but still struggle with sticking with a routine.  I actually enjoy working out, a whole lot more than I thought I would... I think I'm just getting bored doing the same old thing.  I plan to get a cardio dvd in the next few weeks and hope that will break the feeling that this is tedious I get at times... until then, I've got to buckle down and just keep with it!  

We'll see how that goes... Right now I just want to sit on the couch with my snuggie and play with the boys.  This weather doesn't help with the "get up and go" attitude I need to have.  Gotta get moving though!  Hmm... this is my struggle. I'll let you all know how it goes.

Heaven's To Betsy

Quite possibly one of my favorite blogs I've written.  Not sure if it's my most absolute favorite, but it's up there.  May seem silly, but it came to me after a LOT of pondering...

Monday, August 28, 2006 10:00 PM

Heaven's to Betsy... Current mood:  anxious Category: Games    So, last time I typed a blog about an overused word or phrase, it was just HELL! All Hell broke lose. It was just such a hell of a blog, it should have been damned into the lake of fire. Seriously.,, Well, this time, let's focus on Heaven... and Betsy. Why? Why would we wish that Heaven come down to creation and meet up with Betsy? 1: Just who is Betsy. What kind of woman she must be for all of us to be demanding that heaven come to her, instead of her going there? No one is that special, I'm sorry. Get there the same way the rest of us are going, lady. Don't cut in front of me! The line is too long as it is! 2: How are we certain she is going to Heaven? Maybe she deserves fire and brimstone? Maybe a bolt of lightning is going to come out of the sky and smite us for actually calling down heaven on such a despicable creature? We don't know her heart, after all. Bottom line. I don't know Betsy and I don't like the idea of her taking the easy way out. However, I just cannot help myself from saying this phrase. It just rolls off the tongue like sweet butter on a hot biscuit. Mmm.. homemade and old fashioned. Makes me feel.... People, are you kidding me? I feel nothing. Nothing but shame for saying something so stupid as "HEAVEN'S TO BETSY!" Then again, hell isn't such a smart thing to say either. And now I will continue with my mundane life... pondering the great mysteries and in sighting you all when they have been processed. Much love to you, Betsy, and the Heaven's above... and may you have a good night.

I Think Too Much...

I probably wouldn't have reposted this one, except that there is a reference to it in my next blog so I figured I'd eliminate the confusion.  For the record, in the present day, I don't use the word so freely.  Just another way I've mellowed out...

 

Friday, July 14, 2006 10:12 PM

Hell... and all things hot and brimstoney... Current mood:  amused Category: Fashion, Style, Shopping    Ever wonder why this word and synonyms for it are used so often? I mean... yeah. A day can be bad. But is it really comparable to your flesh burning, a worm crawling through your body, and demons torturing you? Then again, I've had some of those days. Heck, I'm even known for overusing the phrase... OOPS! There I went again. Teehee. Can you tell I'm bored, suffering a headache from hell... YES HELL! and unable to sleep all on a Friday night while my friends are out doing exciting and fun things. Headaches. Ankle aches. Both are straight from Lucifer himself, I tell you. LUCIFER! YES, LUCIFER! I need Katie to come in here and do her best Sister MacMahon impression "I ReeeeBUKE you!" Think I'll go get some fresh air now. Hope you have enjoyed this blog. Thank you, and I hope you have a HELL of a day! (That is a compliment, which makes no sense whatsoever...) (Good thing my Grandma can't read this, as the first time I said H-E-double hockey sticks she made me stop everything, pray, and then made me sit and think about what I said. Obviously, I did alot of thinking...)

One Hundred

For my 100th blog I decided to be completely unoriginal and exciting.  Instead, I decided to copy/paste a few of my favorites from my old blog that was on the space that was mine.  To protect the innocent, I have not included the comments. I was going to put them all in one blog, but some are rather long and I've decided to split them up.  Maybe by the end of the day I'll feel like writing something exciting and new, who knows...

Enjoy.

Sunday, March 26, 2006 3:35 PM

Oh, but yes! I am gracing you all with my presence and a song! Current mood:  chipper Category: Music If you know me, you know I'm twisted... and you know I LOVE to twist lyrics... So, here we go... "When I fall in Mud" (Like when I fall in love, ok? I'm not going to explain this, guys. You should all know me by now.) When I falllll in mud... I will turn completely.... for I will glance to seeee.... who saw.. (I will glance to see who saw) In a restless world, like this is... rumors start and endlessly egg on... Before you know it pictures of yourself are allover the internet... and Seacrest says it's crap not mud that's dried on by the sunnnnnnnnn..... When I fall in mud..... When I FALL IN MUDDDDDD.... When I fall in muddddd..... and a little bit offffff... poooooooooooooo............... That is all. Thank you, God bless, and have a great day. P.S. I am currently accepting requests for songs for my next blog.

Note To Self...

Dear Angie,

When you are going to post a blog full of songs that creep you out, but yet you love so much... first of all, include them all.  How could you forget this one?



Second, after writing the blog, don't sit and watch stupid suspenseful movies with Bobby.  He already made you watch another cheesy one earlier in the day. Why watch another?

Third, when you are laying in bed quietly thinking to yourself of your "To-Do" list for the next day, do not be startled by how creepy Bobby's random sudden laugh is when he remembers a silly occurrence with your son earlier in the day.  There is no reason Bobby's laugh should scare the crap out of you now, you've been hearing it for years.  Just because you are laying there in solemn and out of nowhere this loud eerie noise and breath tickle your ear, you should still not have the crap scared out of you!

Fourth, why would you be surprised that Bobby would take every chance for the 30 minutes following the occurrence with the laugh and the scream to scare you?  You should know better!  Though you were right to not let him fall asleep before you.

Fifth, make sure you tell Bobby "Happy Valentine's Day".  Give him a big hug and kiss. Also be sure to tell him you love him.  Thank him for letting you sleep in and making the most delicious scrambled eggs you've had.  After all, he knew you were on a low calorie diet and took extra measures to make the entire meal healthy.  He's such a swell guy.  Going to all that trouble and even leaving 14 videos on your facebook wall while you were sleeping.  You are, most certainly, the luckiest girl in the world!

Love,
Angie

P.S. Next time you go to the store, could you please remember to pick up a shower cap? Thanks.

Creepy...

Just felt like making a public proclamation of some of my favorite songs, that just so happen to be creepy...



Okay, I love this song... and I love Stryper. (Yes! I said it! Gotta problem?) I can't put my finger on the reason why this song gives me the creeps though. But just in the same way that some people will watch a scary movie to feel scared even though they hate it, I listen to songs that creep me out. Maybe that is why sometimes I find myself playing this song on repeat for an hour or so...



I don't think this song needs an explanation. If a guy told me he wanted to be my mother, I think I would have ran. Then again, a lot of my ex's were really strange... and rather creepy... maybe I should seek therapy.



This song gives me the heebee jeebies, but I have to hear it once in awhile. (Please note: Commentary & emails on what this song may or may not say backwards and how Christians shouldn't listen to it is not welcome. Been there, thanks.)



This song makes me cry, in a sad scared way, but I love it! (I know Kathy loves it, too!)



The first time I heard this song, I was listening to the radio as I was falling asleep. I was awake for HOURS after.



Even before Bobby came along, these two songs were those types of creepy songs I loved. They're just that much more creepy now...




As I'm writing this blog, my friend/sis Emily posted this one on Facebook. I completely forgot about it! Creepy, though not as much as others. Mostly funny, silly. Gotta love it, though you really don't want to...



I think the title of this song, and the tune, are enough to creep anyone out. How I love it so, regardless...



Stalker, much? Yeah, definitely. Still catchy!



Apparently it's impossible to embed "The Kill" by 30 Seconds To Mars. I think this is my favorite creepy song... here's the link.

The Police: The godfather's of creepy songs...







It's quite possible this song was written by someone who was a seasoned stalker. Obviously not as seasoned as Bobby's ex-girlfriends, but seasoned. Seriously, who in their right mind would sing this? Obviously, your baby doesn't want to be found. Still, it's one of those songs that when, way back when - once upon a time, I had a desk job it would play in the background on KOST or KBIG and I would be more motivated instantly. I also walked around the rest of the day with it in my head. Totally creepy. I would love to hear a "devotion" of this song on the radio, just to hear what a real life freak's voice sounds like. (Wait, I just remembered... I worked for years to get away from freaks. Don't need more, I'm good.)




Now, I don't dance... but this song makes me dance...



Once again, a song that is impossible to find that can be embedded. This has to be the most popular love song... ever. Heck, I won't lie, it was played at the reception at my first wedding. LOVE THIS SONG! But listen to the lyrics... seriously? Click Here!

Awww... who doesn't love this one? One of mine and Bobby's favorite on the creepy list...



This one always makes me want to run away and hide in a closet while I cry and pray for safety... but once again, I'll hit "back" on the player and listen to it a few times before I move on to the next.



Bobby feels I should include this one... so here you go...



I used to love this song. Thank you, Geico, for ruining it for me. :(



Ewww...



And yet another...



And another...



LOVE this one...



Ohhh yeah. Can't forget this song...



I absolutely love this song... but once again I can't place why it gives me a creepy feel...



This song creeps me out, but just because when I was younger I believed the urban legend that a woman was murdered while it was recorded... Click here for urban legend info...



Well, I think that is all I have for tonight... expect a sequel to this blog in the future... Or don't.

UPDATED: Just to add this one. Can't believe I forgot it!

He Said, She Said... Part 2

Bobby insist I post the link for the call... ugh... Click Here

Miss Communication

A little while ago, I was discussing my "pouch".

Okay, here is where I'm going to warn you with the TMI alert.

I've had 4 children.  I have a little patch of spare skin.  Nothing like Kate Gosselin, don't worry, but a teeny tiny one.  (No, I'm not posting photos.)

My statement was that even though it has been shrinking significantly in the last few months, and more so with all the weight loss, that it will never completely go away.

What I said next was "When we're done having children, I'm cutting it off."

 

Bobby & I earlier this week

 

This is where all men should learn to listen to their wives, because obviously Bobby wasn't and thought I was referring to, um, something else.  I wish I had taken a picture of the look on his face before I explained what I was really talking about...

If Only...

Once upon a time I was a different person.  I rarely doubted anyone.  I took each person for what they said they were.  I forgave most simply because they said they were sorry for some of the most hurtful heartbreaking things that had been done to me. And I dropped everything at a moment's notice to be there for friends who needed me.

Sadly, like most people in this world, I have changed.  I was hurt, deeply, in several different instances where those that I loved and considered dear friends betrayed me in one way or another.  I didn't change overnight, it was after being hurt repeatedly to different degrees by various loved ones over the course of years and allowing the hurt and frustration to build up.  

In trying to move past the pain, I blocked out the memory, sometimes almost "deleting" the person from my memory to the best of my ability and pretending the hurt never happened.  "They're dead to me" I would so easily exclaim if someone asked me when I last talked to the person, proud of my hardened heart and letting the world know that my ego was not bruised but instead stroked.

Obviously, this is ineffective as the hurt is still there, growing, causing me to be doubting, flaky, and distrusting of others.  Besides, as soon as in some way or another whether by running across an old picture of different people, hearing another speak of them, or running into them the pain was quickly remembered as though a bandage was ripped away from the wound, taking the stitches with it and leaving all my anguish exposed.  I talk myself down from the anger.  "That person has no idea.  And look who I am now in spite of all they did to hurt me!  They have suffered such a loss to not know me any longer!  All of the happiness they claim to have now is fake, because they certainly don't deserve it. I dare them to attempt to do the same thing to me now.  They'd have another thing coming!"  Only to realize very quickly "They probably could care less about anything to do with me." 

And here is where it comes full circle...

The reality smacks me right in the face because I KNOW that there are people out there that I've hurt, whether intentional or unintentional, that I could care less about what is going on in their lives or where they are now.

Ouch.  "What kind of person am I?  That's just disgusting!  I wasn't raised to be this way!  Forgive and forget, love one another!"

It seems just in the last few months I've been tossed in with memories of many different past hurts and had to deal with them.  Sometimes so overwhelming, not understanding why, my only option was to cry and have a pity party.  Just a few moments ago I was asking God "Why do I have to go through all this, dealing with all of these people so close together?"  I wasn't even done asking when I realized it's because something needs to change.  I learned at a woman's conference I attended years ago as a teenager that in order to move past the hurt, grow from it, and heal you must forgive those that hurt you.  

Now, I'm going to be honest, as much as I say I forgive everyone for whatever they did to me, there are probably 2 or 3 that I don't want to forgive.  1 of those people I forgave for one of the worst things a person could do to another mother only to be betrayed nearly the same way all over again months later.  I realize that forgiveness doesn't mean I have to be friendly, but just the simple act of letting go of the hurt and sometimes anger seems impossible. Why should that person be forgiven for such a horrible thing?  I guess the answer is simple, because if I don't I'm living in sin and as long as I carry this burden around I'm going to be unhappy.  I don't want to be this person who doesn't take people for their words, doubts every single persons motive for being nice to me, assuming every friend I have secretly hates me.  Why should everyone in my life now pay for the sins of those that were in my life in the past?

If only everyone had a stamp on their foreheads to state whether they were trustworthy, and meter to show just how real or fake they really are...

That's not how it is, though.  This is real life.  Time for me to pick myself back up, again.  Time to dust off my genuine smile, and know that people are being nice to me because they simply like me, not to dig up dirt on a myself, a friend, or family member.  Time to take people for their words, and not second guess every other statement.  

It might take a little time, and that's okay.  I'm damaged, but through forgiveness of others and forgiveness from God, I can be whole again.

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things...

This song is just amazing. I can't hear it without crying. And written by a man who was an awesome minister who was taken to Heaven much too soon. Thank you, Jesus, for giving this man the talent and the song. It's a perfect explanation of what His love has done for me. And yet I wasn't even born when it was written...

Bobby & I once danced to this song in Ralph's (Grocery store) at 1am after a difficult week. I don't remember particularly why it was a hard week, but I do remember the spontaneity of the moment and the romance of the way Bobby took the bag of Dorito's I was picking out of the bin and threw it aside as we began our waltz over to the bottled water aisle. One of the most romantic moments of my entire life.

I love this song. It's just flat out soothing & peaceful. Just the other night I had a tough night. Okay, I admit. It was a bad hair day that took hours to repair. When this song came on my iPod I stopped, took a deep breath, felt the calm take over me, and was able to accomplish my goal. This song I have played on happy days, sad days, stressful days, and days full of rejoicing. :sigh:

I really can't explain this one. It's been my favorite song since I was a wee teenager. I do know that when I realized I didn't want to be alone forever as I had previously claimed during my divorce was while listening to this song. I wanted to feel "Hysteria". Yeah, I know. Super cheesy. Who cares, go read another blog if you don't want cheese, because me? I'm all about cheese. Especially since Bobby came along. Thanks to him, I know "Hysteria".

LOVE this! Who doesn't?

Okay, just kidding. I was serious about the others though!

More to come as I think of them... I'm tapped out for now.

Some People Call Me Maurice...

Some might say I'm a sell out...

My reply is I just created a new brand.  No harm, no foul.

Don't worry, cause I'm right here.  Yes, right here.  Right here at home.



Disclaimer: This post was not "triggered" by any one person's words or such.  It was just randomly thought out while doing some (once again, dangerous) thinking.  Possibly by playing a wee bit too much Rock Band.  But who's to say what is too much?  Hmm?

I'm feeling silly, in case you haven't noticed.  Having a good high calorie meal at the local Red Robin after 1 1/2 weeks of dieting might do that to you.  A blog on that topic is to follow in the next few days...

This Just In...

Bobby has stated that I am a perfect Mom.  If that is so, I would guess I am perfect in general, right? RIGHT?!

Though I think he was comparing me to this freak (click on freak) and next to her, nearly anyone would look great....

Still, I'm just sayin'... Bobby said I'm perfect.

This blog will be kept on file for future references when complaints are brought up against me and my "perfection".

Note: On January 22nd, 2010, Bobby stated that I am perfect.

Thank you.

P.S. Isn't he HOT!!! I'm seriously one lucky woman to be married to such a perfect father & husband. ;)

And The Weekly Top 40!

So, I should probably do the smart thing and not write a blog while medicated.

But when have I ever been known to do that, HUH? ;)

It seems I've reached a point in my life where less and less I find myself worrying about what others think.  Now, don't get me wrong.  Let's clarify.  I still make an effort to not offend others and would never purposely do something that would cause someone to think less of me.  What I'm talking about is simply me being who I am, and not worrying what anyone else thinks of what my opinion, status, dress, spirit, wealth, size, etc. is.

It has taken me over 28 years to get to this point, and let me just say it is oh so liberating.  To just be myself without an apology, ahhhh.  I must thank my husband most of all for helping me to this point, but that's not to say a lot of others haven't been there for me either.

And now I'm going to post this blog, as boring as it may be, and not worry for a single second what anyone else thinks about it, because it's my blog. HA! So there! ;)

So There Was This ONE Time I Was Weird...

So, I'm sitting here eating some good ol' cheez-its and thinking of how wonderful of a salty snack they really are. I mean really. Think about it. What is better than cheez-its? Not a whole lot!

Cheez-its have probably been my favorite snack cracker my entire life. I loved them as a kid, as I did just about anything cheese related.

One night, my brother Jared and I were enjoying a box of tasty treats when the horrid realization that we were down to crumbs had come to our attention. Knowing it wasn't likely to happen, we asked the adults in our home to take us to the store to get some more. My Mom was tired from working all day, and our Grandparent's looked at us like we were pretty much insane. I asked if I could make a grilled cheese sandwich then. They granted permission and off to the kitchen I went...

Well, somewhere in the hall way the brilliant idea occurred to me that I could MAKE cheez-its. I mean, how hard could it be, right?

I got out the velveeta, cut it into tiny squares, and placed them on the griddle. Then I loaded on the salt. I was CERTAIN this was going to be fantastic. I had visions of my recipe being listed in the church potluck cook book. I mean, this was going to be the perfect snack, even better than the name brand, right?

Well, Jared was a little skeptical. He felt the need to feed a few pieces to our gold fish Jaws. (Jaws never ate fish food. He ate our left overs. I'm not lying. That fish lived over a year merely on our left overs! He was a carnival prize and lived on green beans, cheese, bread, etc.)

Jaws ate them up. We tried a few, were enjoying our delicacies, and in heaven. I'll never forget what happened next. Jared went to drop another piece in Jaws cereal canister (Like I said, carnival prize. He was one of 100's. My Grandma refused to invest money in a fish that could pass any day...) and it splashed. SPLASHED! Fish water ALL OVER the griddle and plate. I cried.

Naturally the grown ups thought I burned myself cooking, came running, and were horrified. I wasn't allowed to cook again for awhile. Apparently fried cheese is a greasy mess, and is FAR from a healthy cracker snack.

Just felt the need to share that story. Poor Jaws. Probably died of a heart attack due to clogged arteries after all the junk we fed him.

RIP Jaws, RIP.

It's been awhile...

A watched pot never boils....

Nor does a timed uterus contract.

Yes, Crystal, I really did come up with that on my own.

I Can Relate... Kinda...

The last few weeks we have had a little friend hanging out in our back yard. I don't know for sure what kind of bird it is, but it keeps me up. Eventually, every night, I end up humming this...




Which, in turn, is making me relate completely to this...



I hope and pray this bird finds some reason to move to another location soon. Falling asleep before 3am would be nice. Why it doesn't affect Bobby or Tommy is beyond me!

P.S. Crystal, I need my Failure To Launch dvd back... lol

Feel Like Laughing? Crying? Throwing Something? Cleaning Your Entire House Top To Bottom?

I hereby declare this pregnancy hormone awareness day!!! (Go through the videos in order for full effect...)

First, the song Bobby sang to me the night we got married. I know, awww... It just happened to be playing in the limo, and being nervous he sang along. This song always just makes me smile.




Now, to make you sad: You have to watch them in the exact order... Better yet, look them up for better quality versions...







Stop what you're doing! Put down the knife! Do NOT slit your wrists! "But why?!" You ask? "WHY did we have to go from happy to sad in 1.2 seconds flat?" I'll tell you why... Because that's what it's like! Not fun, is it?

Now, cheer up and watch this:



Fun! YAY! Happy! Weird, creepy, silly, but HAPPY!

Everyone getting on your nerves?





Angry and ticked, huh? But at least you feel vindicated... Don't be mad at me! I could have used a lot of worse songs just to make you feel anger! Trust me!

OK, Ignore the weird graphics...



Naturally, you worry just what that baby will look like...



Then you remember, everything will be fine...



Besides, if you're having one of Bobby's kids at least, it's inevitable...





That was just strange, and you can't explain it. You don't feel bad, but not quite like yourself either...

But who cares, you're STARVING!!!!



Now you're feeling sleepy...



What just happened? Why is it every time you fall asleep you wake up more confused? Stupid pregnancy dreams...




WAKE UP! You're nesting! Time to CLEAN!



Your husband thinks you are most certainly and definitely CRAZY!



Would not be complete without this...



Who doesn't feel happy and complete after hearing "Hysteria"? Oh yeah, that's just me... anyways...

And now, for at least a few moments...



But, here you are, and it is well...



And now, you have officially experienced a full mood swing. Congratulations! Were you truly pregnant, you would feel this way CONSTANTLY... never ending... it's such a beautiful process, isn't it? That's why to your husband you dedicate this:

I'm A Blubbering Idiot: At The Very Most, To Say The Very Least...

Adventures in incubating...

Yesterday Tommy & I ran to the store, and on the way home I decided to listen to the radio. Well, first song to make me cry, naturally, was Darius Rucker's "It Won't Be Like This For Long". I have 3 children, and often long for those days I just couldn't wait to pass... like the first night home with each of them. There I was, bawling on the freeway, while Tommy "sang" along in his car seat behind me.



Well, here's where it gets even stupider... more stupid... whatever! (You don't even know how to SPELL! (What I apparently yelled at my sweet husband in my sleep last night...))

When Bobby and I had been married about 6 months or so, his first father's day as Jeff & Becca's step dad, he made a list of songs he wanted me to hear that either he just liked in general or reminded him of me while I made him a father's day dinner. One was a Brad Paisley song. Since then when I have heard it, I kind of think "awww". Well, yesterday a DIFFERENT Brad Paisley song played on the radio... and there I was, deliriously confused and sobbing at how lucky I am to have him and how far we've come in the last 2 years and 4 months... It wasn't until HOURS later that I realized IT WASN'T EVEN THE RIGHT SONG! Boy, did I feel stupid. I cried for NOTHING! He laughed at this when I told him, I was mad. Gotta love hormones....

So, tell me, which Brad Paisley song do you think was the right one, and which one the wrong?

You're So Vain, You Probably Think This Blog Is About YOU!

Thank you to Kathy for the idea of the title of this blog some time ago...

So, I must admit in public now that I am slightly obsessed with make up, even though I don't wear it every day. Yes, I still keep it all in a caboodle (purple marble with a hot pink handle) and it contains mostly eye shadows & eye liners. I wouldn't say I'm vain though... If anything I have a low self esteem that I battle with every single day. I just wanted to use that blog title idea, lol.

Speaking of vanity, why is it such human nature to assume that when you read something that refers to the "general you", one must assume it is personally directed at them. Vice versa, why do some people say that something is not directed at anyone but the general public, but it is actually directed at one single group or person?

Why, as humans, and I do mean the general public here... I AM NOT TARGETING ANYONE! (Ahem, don't be vain...) do we feel the need to be so mean and/or cruel to others just because they hurt our feelings or we disagree? Everyone has been guilty of it at some point in time. Most know when to stop and not drag things on. Naturally, everyone has a right to vent or be upset... But, by golly, I've known some people who carry things on and out for so much longer than necessary. Why?! Do you not feel that you are valuable enough as a person to deserve being happy? Such bitterness only drags one down. You aren't hurting anyone but yourself as I'm sure the others don't think much of it, and you're certainly just depressing yourself.

Another vanity topic...

What is with the obsession with weight during pregnancy and postpartum? I swear it is so much more now than it was when I had Jeff and Becca. Then again, maybe it's because I was in another part of the country and not in Southern California. I've been blessed to only gain 4lbs so far with this pregnancy (I started out a little heavy as I was still working on losing weight from my pregnancy with Tommy... and it was the holidays... and Bobby and I had put on some "marital bliss" weight right before I got pregnant with Tommy...) but I've heard of women DIETING or obsessing over calories during pregnancy! Heaven forbid you not be skin and bones after you deliver! Surely, you MUST wear your jeans 3 months after delivery! What will you do if you don't ever fit into a size small again? What will everyone think if you have a slight pudge on your tummy or thighs 6 months after your baby is born? And to still have that weight 2 years later? WHAT A TRAGEDY?! Why don't people think of the tragedy that is a sick newborn? No one wants to think about the pain and suffering a premature infant goes through... What about brain or physical development being damaged due to your "ego"? Grrr... some people should never be allowed to be parents.

I could go on and on with this... but I think I've already let my hormones say enough. I'm going to shut up... NOW!